Tailgates & Tanlines

So apparently I look like I “just had sex” okay cool. Fuck you too.

As the days pass slowly and the weeks creep by, I find myself obsessing About ways that I could die.
Suddenly thoughts of death are controlling my every move, and every battle with my mind I always seem to lose. I no longer want to be around The people that I love. All I can think about is what’s waiting up above.
I cut my arms with razor blades to dull the pain inside, but that can only last so long I don’t want to be alive.

All I heard was “Your dad would of been so proud” and suddenly I realized I never had time to grieve over the loss of my father.. 

Have you ever lived my life?

Spent one minute in my shoes?

If you haven’t then tell me why 

You judge me as you do.

Have you ever woken up in the morning 

Wondering if this was your last day on earth?

Have you ever left your house 

Unsure if you’d return?

Have you ever seen a friend get shot

Outside his favorite store?

Have you ever seen a friend die 

From drugs he’d never used before?

Have you ever sat beneath the stars 

Hoping God will hear you?

Have you ever seen your friend drive away

After way to many beers?

Have you ever had a friend

Experiment with weed?

Have you ever covered up guilt 

by doing a good deed?

Have you ever considered suicide

As the only way?

Have you ever tried to hide yourself 

Behind the things you say?

Have you ever wanted to protect

Your friends and everyone in sight?

Have you ever felt such pain 

That you cried yourself to sleep at night?

Have you ever lived my life, 

Spent one minute in my shoes?

If you haven’t then tell me why

You judge me as you do.